Most would believe spotting a toxic relationship of any kind is easy. However, in many cases you don’t realize how bad that person was for you until you are out of the relationship. Everyone has a fair shot at removing toxic people from their lives, here are the most common signs of a toxic relationship.

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone isn’t a good person to be around is how often they are negative. I don’t mean if they feel sad or if they are having a rough day but when they constantly make it a point to say something negative about themselves, someone else, or you. Most people who spend their time talking badly about someone else with you will do the same to you when talking to someone else. Especially if the person they’re talking badly about is someone they continue to be around or be friends with. It is the same thing if they constantly make Self-deprecating comments and use that type of humor, it usually reflects low self-respect. If one struggles to respect themselves it can be hard for that person to respect others as well. This is not to say everyone with low self-esteem/respect means they are incapable of respecting others, however, low self-worth can manifest negativity and a superiority complex because of how badly they feel about themselves.

Another very easy sign to tell if someone is toxic is if that person trauma dumps. To those unaware, trauma dumping is when someone brings up something very traumatic and possibly triggering in a conversation that had nothing to do with the topic previously being discussed. This also ties with self-deprecating comments, both actions shift the conversation to be about them and seem to ask for pity. People who do this also have a hard time with boundaries as their behavior is usually compulsive and is due to a lack of attention in other aspects of their life so they must demand it in every situation they can. Especially in ways that validate their trauma by making you feel bad for them which usually obligates you to pity them and comfort them. This behavior is very draining for the person or people who are suddenly thrown into a pity party for a person when they were just having a normal conversation.

Not all signs of toxic people are as obvious as negativity, some traits can be masked by being inherent “kind” or “good” traits. One very common sign someone is not good for you is if they are codependent. Codependency usually manifests itself as someone wanting to be constantly around you, constantly talking to you, needing to know every aspect of your life and day and chronic attachment issues. As you can see, these are traits one can find in any healthy relationship. They aren’t really “bad” traits, it is perfectly normal to want to be around the people you like. However, codependency takes the normal desire to be around your people and makes it more of an obsession. For example, if your friend or partner can’t fathom being away from you for more than a day that is a red flag. For clarification, them being upset at not being able to see you is not codependent, but if you being gone causes them anxiety, and they get defensive or aggressive with being apart from you they might be codependent and that is not okay. If you’re being busy with other people or work makes them overly jealous and angry that is a very good sign of a possibly codependent relationship. If they insert themselves into everything you do and start acting distant or aggressively to you asking for space or personal time, that is a very clear sign. Lastly, if you constantly have to reassure them that you don’t hate them or that you’re not ignoring them when you are busy with something you are probably in a codependent relationship.

Relationships are a difficult thing to navigate no matter the circumstance. It is easy to oversee toxic signs while in a relationship, which is why it is important to recognize red flags as soon as possible.