Attempting (and Mostly Failing) at Finding a Balance

Marcella Barneclo

Pictured above is my desk and the novel we just finished in my English class before school was shut down.

I do not quite know what to do with myself these days — which mostly consist of Netflix, sleeping, working, and trying to find the motivation to log into Google Classroom every once in a while.

Throughout high school, I always imagined what senior year would look like but never once did I consider the idea that the second half of the school year would be cut short entirely. It has been disappointing to lose the majority of senior activities. The classic coming of age stories that most people recall in their older years will be drastically different for the Class of 2020.

However, I think it is important to remember that COVID-19 has caused others to lose much more. There are people grappling with unemployment, struggling to support themselves and their families, fighting for their lives, etc. In the large scheme of things, losing graduation, prom, and Grad Nite is a small price to pay in order to help slow the spread of this virus. This is not to say that no student should be sad, it is merely a reminder to not get caught up in the disappointment and feelings of unhappiness that might be present.

It is frightening how fast everything changed. In a matter of months, the U.S. seemed to switch from a carefree, easy-going outlook to realizing that the virus was not something to be taken lightly. I think we all expected Cam High to shut down after hearing about colleges closing campuses and moving to online platforms. Although, I do not necessarily believe we were ready to do so.

Digital learning and online classes are not comparable to learning in the traditional classroom setting, and with each passing day, it is becoming increasingly apparent. For me, it feels very disjointed and disconnected. Communication is extremely minimal and the learning is slow-paced, which is a very different feeling since AP classes are generally incredibly fast-paced as teachers try to cram as much information as humanly possible into lessons every day. Though, since AP testing criteria has changed as a result of school closures, some of the pressure (not all) has lessened.

Realistically, I know that many students are probably struggling to find the motivation to wake up at a reasonable time and even begin on their classwork for the week. I myself am still trying to discover a schedule that keeps me on track for most of my classes. I do not think I am doing a particularly good job since I wake up at one in the afternoon and laze around, rewatching episodes of The Office since I have binged almost every other show there is to see. Most of the time, I log onto Google Classroom because I have exhausted every other form of entertainment and I just want something to pass the time.

For now, I will continue to stay indoors, talk to my friends via Discord and other platforms, and maybe even attempt to do something productive with the endless hours of the day. Then again, no promises on that last bit.